Having kids

Let us assume, for a while, that our young people wake up and get married in droves. There’s still another unfortunate delusion standing in the way of a better reality. They don’t want to have kids.

To be fair, the decision of whether to have kids is a complex one. I imagine that many liberal young couples today would relish a married life free of children – in other words, a life free of responsibilities. The personal freedom to do whatever you want and go wherever you please without having to consider those pesky kids! The financial freedom to pamper yourself lavishly and live like a king because you don’t have to devote hundreds of thousands of dollars to your kids’ food, clothing, and education. This is really the life of a 30 year-old, and I’m not surprised that so many affluent (and naïve) young 30 year-olds want to live like 30 year-olds forever. It doesn’t help that the media has romanticised this seemingly “ideal” dream lifestyle. It’s a tempting dream indeed.

But a tempting choice is not necessarily the right one, and eventually, all dreams come to an end. A blissful, carefree, love-filled married life is not a realistic long-term prospect – it will not last long. Most couples run out of things to talk about, lose the spark, and generally get bored of each other... and by the time they realise they really want kids, the wife is already nearing or beyond the end of her childbearing years.

If you’re still not convinced, please at least spare a thought for your country. If more young couples don’t start having kids, we as a nation may cease to exist within just a few generations! Singapore’s current total fertility rate (TFR) is a catastrophic 1.23, far below the TFR of 2.1 needed for us to replace ourselves. We desperately need more babies to ward off this existential threat. In a way, to put personal hedonistic pleasures above the dire needs of your nation strikes me as extremely selfish.

Singapore's declining birth rate one of people's top concerns

Singapore's Demographic Winter

Of course, we can all blame many factors... but ultimately, we always have a choice, albeit a tough one. It's up to Singaporeans to make the right choice.